In a thread on a board I frequent, ok, it’s my board, but this is beside the point…anyway a member posted about an old couch now on the curb getting rained on. He didn’t have a lot to say about it, other than it was a great napping couch. Other members responded in recalling their old "treasures" and how they miss them now that they are gone, and it prompted me to reply.

This was my reply.

"Isn’t it weird how we get attatched to things?

Maybe I am weird, but I always feel bad for stuff like this on the curb getting soaked by a rain and whatnot…

I mean, I know it’s an inanimate object, but I always anthropomorphize them.

I call this my Velveteen Rabbit Complex(TM).

Stuffed away in a closet or in this case the garbage dump are millions of previously owned, loved and needed items…suddenly…not needed anymore and are kicked to the curb and forgotten. Kept warm inside the house, suddenly stuck outside in a cold rain…defenseless…unloved.

Children’s toys in the trash bother me the most cause you KNOW some kid out there loved the stuffing out of it.

I guess this is why I still have my stuffed animals and toys from my childhood…I just can’t bring myself to abandon them.

I was messaging my neice a couple weeks/month ago…She found my old stash of My Little Ponies at my mom’s house…and wanted to play with them and brush their hair out.

She asked my mom if she could play with them…and mom wasn’t sure how I’d feel about that and said no. But guess what…the thought of my old skin horse in the closet getting brought out and loved again for some reason makes me very happy. I told my neice she has my permission to play with them, and that I was sure they’d like being brushed out again.

What she doesn’t know is that at the 4th of July family get together, I am planning on giving her a couple of them."

The reference of course comes from a children’s book named The Velveteen Rabbit…specifically in the story, the scene in the closet where two forgotten toys have a dialogue with each other about becoming real. This has remained imprinted on my brain from the day this story was read to me. I think I even recall watching an animated cartoon of the story.

I interpretted this as a child that inanimate objects desire becoming real, and thus have feelings like people do. As an adult, I know this to be completely off, but something at the center of my being still feels a tug of compassion for things that get thrown away, or allowed to experience harsh conditions that they’ve never had to before. Not so much napkins and things like that, but more like things that were once held close and cared after as if it were a child. Children’s toys, and even old furniture…

I think the common thread they share is that these items were intended to comfort us in our daily lives. They are often taken for granted and not really thought of in this way. But they do so much for us in the way of making the quality of our lives better as they sacrifice their own condition over time…and for what…to be discarded as garbage at the end of their useful existance.

I am empathizing with anthropomophized emotions that I am projecting onto inanimate objects. It seems that most people outgrow this sensitivity as they become adults. Some to the point where it seems even animate objects become inanimate to them allowing them to take people and other living beings for granted.

Some days I feel like the world could benefit from having a mild, extended case of The Velveteen Rabbit Complex.

Normally, I avoid reality TV like its some sort of communicable disease. This would include everything from Elimidate to Fear Factor. I will admit to a small soft spot for The Jerry Springer Show but I decided long ago that Jerry wasn’t in the reality business. He is more like the carnival barker at the freak show tent. "Come see the bearded midget lady as she confesses to being a drug crazed hooker for corporate CEOs." My kind of entertainment.

Well, despite my determined avoidance of such things, I got hooked last night. Lucky for me it was only the last 30 minutes of the season. But I found myself getting pretty agitated with the people on Average Joe 2. So let me recap and then offer my own scathing editorial comments.

You probably all know the plot. Pretty Girl (in this case Larissa, former Miss Missouri BTW) is presented with a selection of men to choose from. The unique spin is that these guys are not young, hot, rich, and suave. While they may be on the young side depending on your perspective, most are either too skinny, not skinny enough, pale to a fault and have hair that has seen better days. So our young starlette is forced to get to know these guys when normally she would cross the street to avoid making eye contact with them. To her shock and consternation, she finds that normal looking guys can be fun too. Enter the hunks. Now the fellows have to compete with the latest crop of Ken Dolls sent down from the modeling agency/escort service (dubbed Himbos for male bimbo in some places. I like this word).

Last night our field was down to 2. A Bostonian named Brian who comes complete with the accent that we all know and love and Gil. The last himbo standing.

I came into the show as Brian was taking his lady fair to Fenway Park since he was a big Red Sox fan. They got to meet Tim Wakefield, see their names on the board and get their own autographed Soxs jerseys. This is all very cool but what got me was how much the guy really seemed to be touched by the chance to share all of this with Larissa. He seemed genuine to a fault and just so overwhlemed to have this woman with him that you couldn’t help but root for him.

Lets jump to the end. She picks the hunk. No big shock I suppose but for some reason it was worse than the normal reality TV trash I’ve seen. Brian was about as real a human being as I’ve ever seen on TV and her reasoning was simply ridiculous.

Here’s one guy who’s company I enjoy, who worships the ground I walk on and who seemed happier to be with me than he was with meeting his favorite athelete. On the other hand there’s this really cute guy that I am not quite sure about. Hmmm…. Maybe if I give the hunk a chance he’ll turn out to be deep too. I know he hasn’t shown it yet, but surely he’s not ALL ripped abs and good hair.

So our tragic Bostonian hero heads home (in a bus no less, ouch) and the beautiful couple fly off to Cabo Mexico for more wooing. Four days into that vacation she reveals that she once dated Fabio. At which point Gil decides that’s just too much for him and bails out. His justification? "Any guy out there who put himself in my shoes would understand why I’m upset."

Ok, rant time. I have a lot to say on this but I’ll summarize. She’s a shallow bitch who didn’t deserve him anyway. Gil’s not only shallow, but stupid as well (what? he thought she was virginal when they met?). And our hero Brian is back in Boston crying in his beer.

I sincerely hope that Brian becomes a local celebrity with his pick of smart attractive women who realize that the meaning of life is not in a peroxide die job and big pecs. He deserves it. And while I’m sure this won’t happen, I hope Larissa’s NEXT beau dumps her not over Fabio, but because she clearly demonstrated her own vanity, ignorance, and shallowness on national TV.

As for Gil, well I think we can expect to see him on Blind Date soon trying desperately to score with a woman only to become violently ill upon learning that she once dated a professional basketball player.

So Saturday was my birthday. I got a couple gifts this year, and a lot of Happy Birthday wishes…which, I actually prefer, but gifts are nice too. Sometimes.

For instance… One of my gifts was an automotive gadget that you plug into the lighter socket (that I don’t use ayway because I don’t smoke) to scent the interior of the car. You just plug it in and leave it there to do it’s thing, only having to replace the little smelly stick once in a while. Handy, useful, out of the way and probably not very expensive…so it’s a perfect gift for me. The other thing is that I am a terribly forgetful person, and so, once it’s done, I don’t have to remember to use it, it’s already there. Tres Cool.

My other gift, was a Sony Minidisc mp3 player. Now this gift…came from my husband…which means in the back of my head I know I also bought this gift. And not to sound ungrateful or anything, but I didn’t expect it, I never hinted around that I wanted such a thing, and it cost a hundred bucks. It’s also about 3 inches wide by 3 inches wide. I could hide it and the headphones it came with in my buttcrack if I so chose to do so. Aside from a little drum and bass eminating from there, no one would be the wiser. Repulsed, but none the wiser.

Ok, lets back up about 6 months. Six months ago, I got my first cellphone. It came free with the plan my husband got with his phone but we still have to pay for the plan. Despite the fact that I had to picked it out, I didn’t want it. And I hate it. I hate everything about it. For one, I don’t even need one. The only time I am not within 3 feet of a phone is when I am in my car…driving. And I don’t need it then either. It’s about 4 inches by 2, so it’s also tiny and easy to lose, break or have stolen. If I drop it, because it’s tiny, it’s broken…If lost it or it got stolen, I’d have to worry about some jerk using my minutes up, messaging people on it, and a bunch of other things, or I could pay to have it deactivated…in which case I’m out the money anyway.

Ok, fast forward to today. Now I have this 100 dollar mp3 player that I didn’t even need, that I am afraid to take out of the house because I might lose it or someone might walk off with it. This gadget is specifically designed for carraige everywhere…yet for me, it’s another liability. I could easily drop it…and then it’s broken…I could easily not realize that I’ve left it somewhere and then it’s gone forever…or I could get up from my desk at work for a restroom break or whatever, and come back to an empty desk…It’s just so tiny, it’s easy to lose.

That’s the trouble with these new, fancy schmancy, high tech gadgets. The design push is to get them smaller and smaller…Most of these things are getting to the point where the ergonomics of these microgadgets is slipping away, like sand between your fingers. There are some out there that are just the size of a pen…this frightens the hell out of me.

Maybe I just prefer simplicity, but it seems like the price of this new and improved technology is another hunk of our peace of mind.

For me, worrying about this kind of thing is like buying a new sofa, and not wanting to take the plastic cover off because you are afraid to stain the fabric. And not worrying about it is like asking Mod wrestlers over after the match to come hang out and break in the new couch.

Personally, I’d rather forego all of that and just sit on the floor.

Normally, my gadget lust is restricted to handheld devices, or at the most a new computer monitor or sound card. But today I found Poetic Technologies and my geek lust kicked into overdrive.

In the good ole days (before geek lust was the passion de jur) men would have found themselves in this position only when a revolutionary new model of sports car came on the market. Alas, today through the combined pressure of environmental responsibilty and rampant affordable technology, the number of gear heads is dwindling.

Lucky for us computer crazy types, the folks at Poetic Technologies saw a need for something new to stoke the flames of middle class males’ imagination. Thus was born the Aura.

You can check out their website for a complete feature list but let me give you the highlights.

• Room for 4 monitors
• Storage for CDs, manuals, personal effects and more.
• 20 outlets on two seperate circuits.
• Hidden cable troughs for power, voice, data, and optical cabling. (These are configured for accessibility, so no more fishing cables through tiny conduit.)
• Self contained air filter/flow control with optional radiant heat.
• Indirect lighting controlled from the workstation.
• Seven way adjustable chair with optional inflatable cusions for a custom fit.
• Adjustable keyboard tray and footrest (settings for these, along with the chair can be programmed and stored for multiple users.)
• Entire workstation rotates slowly for a changing view, or can be turned by the user to help eliminate glare and take advantage of ambient light sources.

Envy, thy name is Aura. Unfortunately, there is no price listed on the website. I am assuming they are far far out of my reach. But knowing roughly how much my present employer spent per cubicle to squeeze us all into our corporate headquarters, it should be within reach for a company looking to remodel.

Could your next job be in one of these?