Green Scissors

I don’t vote.

I am the first to tell you that this precludes me from any complaining about the political landscape. That’s not what I wanted to write about. With the beggining of the carnival that is the Presidential race I got to thinking about why I don’t vote.

I have gone through several versions of this argument with myself and still haven’t come up with anything profound. For a very long time the only conclusion that I could draw was that I am lazy. An argument you won’t hear too much objection about from me. I am lazy and to be the type of voter I would hope to be would require research, commitment to analyzing issues and an overall persistence in following the various campaigns.

Quite frankly, that seems like a lot of work for the kind of return I would get. The only true reward in that type of action is knowing that you spoke your mind, if only in a small way, and that what you said was something that actually reflected who you are. If that translates as lazy to most folks, then I can live with that.

When I’m not identifying myself as a lazy non-voter, I have sometimes thought that I was an apathetic citizen. Again, not much argument there. I do not follow politics either locally or nationally and I have no real sense of who stands for what or what issues I should be worried about. I don’t think I am apathetic about my community or the people in it. To the contrary, I get alot of joy out of helping out an occasional non-profit group or being involved with community orgaizations. I think its a great way to directly contribute to the world you live in.

Which brings me to what I think is the real reason I don’t vote. Lack of contribution. Voting is the least effictive way that I see to influence the world I live in. Democracy has been long heralded as the common man’s voice. And rightly so. But we now live in a country with a government structure that is so complex, even at city and state levels, that the election of a few new officials into the slavering beast that is government bureaucracy seems to me to be like trying to sanitize a swimming pool by dumping a few glasses of distilled water into it. Add to that the fact that much of governments power, especially at the federal level, is vested in positions that are not elected. Yes, positions like Federal Judges and directors of the inteligence agencies are appointed by our elected officials. But the tenure of their influence will far outlast all but the most popular of elected officials. And a popular elected official seems to me to be the one least likely to be bold and decisive.

In the face of that, I find it hard to get motivated about the voting process. I would much rather make my voice heard by sitting on a board of directors somewhere or coaching kids or teaching a course on something worthwhile. You can call it lazy apathy, but influencing the world can take many forms and going to the voting booth seems, to me, to be the last place that I would want to try to make my voice heard.

I think the measure of a friendship isn’t how you handle the 80% of life that ranges from "pretty good" to "pretty shitty". That stuff tends to be fairly easy to deal with–you offer congratulations or a shoulder to cry on and it’s all good. The tough part is that other 20% that’s ecstatic or tragic–think about your best couple of friends and how they would handle you being in one of those states, then compare that to someone you think of as an acquaintance.

Your really good friends know what makes you tick when important stuff happens. Now, the real test of friendship’s quality is what happens when one of you is an ass. Every relationship worth the name has a certain amount of scar tissue–times when you’ve hurt the other person, and vice versa.

So why do they survive? It’s because you also have this bank of goodwill that you’ve built up over months or years. "Yeah, Jason was a real jackass, and I want to kick him in the head. But you know, he’s put up with my shit before, so…" Really good romantic relationships, I think, have a strong friendship as well. But we have this tendency to think that the romantic element is sort of this separate thing from the friendship.

On the other hand, why do you break up with someone? All sorts of reasons–breaking trust, loss of momentum, fighting, money problems, blah blah blah. In the end, though, it comes down to one thing, and that’s that your bank of goodwill isn’t enough to outweigh the shit you’re putting up with. (Mind you, that’s most of the time–there are some instances where it just sort of fizzles, and goes back to a platonic friendship. But those are boring breakups that your friends don’t want to hear about, so we’re ignoring those.)

With your average breakup, you’ve got some baggage associated with it, right? In the end, then, when you try to go from ending a romantic relationship back to a "good" friendship, you’ve got a problem. The goodwill isn’t there anymore. So what happens when the other person is an ass? "Jason is such a fucker! This is JUST like what he did when we were together!! God, I can’t believe I EVER PUT UP WITH HIM!!!" You’ve used up all the freebies already, and now you’re back to a point where you have to develop the friendship, in some ways, from scratch.

As part of my bachelors program we were required to create a portfolio of both professional and personal documents. One of the things we were asked to create was a personal mission statement. I don’t think I would have ever done so unless there was a grade attached but as time has gone on, I have revisited that statement to rremind myself of some of the principles that I try to live by.

It was a very rewarding undertaking and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to find out a little more about themselves. Here is what I came up with.

• It is my mission in life to pursue knowledge and relationships that will help me discover and use the energy I possess.

• I will strive everyday to better understand my own mind and my goals. This will help me to be a better person and to better contribute to my society.
• I will build a community of individuals around myself. The world views me by my actions and the company I keep. I will strive to keep myself in the company of individuals who can both teach me and learn from me.
• I will resolve conflicts with myself and with others. I will not let unresolved relationships linger in my life. I will endeavor to reach peace with each person with whom I am in contact.
• I will attempt to understand those who would hate me.
• I will continue to learn and experience new things to help me better understand the world in which I live.
• I will put more back into the world than I take out. I will strive everyday to brighten someone’s life in small ways and to improve the lives of those who would ask for help.
• I will foster close relationships with many different types of people to help me gain perspective on others whom I do not know and prevent me from making judgemental decisions.
• I will live by the values in my heart so that the world can see the person I am. In this way I will be an example to others and never feel regret for things I have or have not done.
• I will hold myself to standards that I set. I will not allow the values or actions of others to control my beliefs and behaviors.
• I will always reserve judgement until I have heard both sides of an issue. I will not leap to hasty judgements out of anger or fear.

So in two weeks I hit the big THREE OH. Very exciting. I am not particularly depressed about this because as Richard from Caroline in the City once said "No one takes you seriously in your 20s."

But it brings a few age related things to mind. The first is remembering the shock I felt when I realized that the Bears starting halfback was younger than me. More recently, I find myself really admiring a trio of teenagers and that bothers me more than I thought it would.

Freddy Adu is 14, he also has a $1 million Nike contract and was recently the #1 pick in the MLS draft (by DC United). This only after he turned down offers from several top European clubs.

Michelle Wei is 14. You might have seen her name in the news recently. She shot even par and missed the cut by one stroke at the opening PGA event in Hawaii. By the way, she was hitting from the men’s tees.

LeBron James. Even if you aren’t a follower of sports you probably know the guy. Just turned 19, starting guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers and had a $100 million in both salary and endorsements about 2 weeks after he graduated high school.

Granted, all of these are athletes, but there are other examples. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, my brother. Sheesh, seems like quite a few people managed to do some pretty amazing things in their pre 30s. So what’s a man to do?

But then I realize that its not all bad. I have a great life, in my own opinion, and I while there might be one or two things I’d like to go back and have another crack at, I can’t honestly say that I’m at all disapointed in how its played out.

So here’s to a great fourth decade of life and to taking all things in their turn.